Finding Your Emotional Sweet Spot: A Simple Guide to Managing Big Feelings

Genie Love • August 22, 2025

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Learning to better manage emotions has changed the lives of some of my clients. And, if you're neurodivergent (especially with ADHD or autism) you may know that emotions can feel like they go from 0 to 100 in seconds. One moment you're fine, the next you're completely overwhelmed or shutdown. I'm going to share a simple framework that can help you catch those big feelings before they take over that I've been using for decades.



Meet the Zones of Regulation



Originally designed for kids (but surprise...it works amazingly well for adults too!), this system thinks of your emotional state like a traffic light system, but with four colors instead of three:



🔵 Blue Zone: The Slow Lane



Tired, sad, bored, or sick

Moving slowly, low energy

Hard to focus or get motivated



🟢 Green Zone: The Sweet Spot



Calm, focused, content, ready to learn

This is where we do our best thinking and connecting

The goal zone for important tasks and relationships



🟡 Yellow Zone: Caution Ahead



Excited, worried, frustrated, or silly

Energy is ramping up, but you still have some control

Warning sign that you might need to use some coping strategies



🔴 Red Zone: Full Stop



Angry, furious, terrified, or completely overwhelmed

Fight, flight, or freeze mode activated

Very hard to think clearly or make good decisions



Why This Matters for ADHD and Autistic Brains



Neurodivergent nervous systems often experience:



Faster zone changes - Jumping from Green to Red without much Yellow warning time

Longer recovery periods - It takes more time and energy to get back to Green

Intense sensory triggers - Sounds, lights, textures, or social situations can push you into different zones quickly

Masking exhaustion - Trying to appear "fine" all day can leave you depleted and more likely to hit Blue or Red zones



Your Three-Step Zone Check System



1. Name It: "What zone am I in right now?" Just noticing and labeling your zone creates a pause between feeling and reacting.



2. Claim It: "This zone makes sense given what's happening." All zones are normal human experiences. You're not broken for having big feelings.



3. Aim for Green: "What's one small thing that might help me feel more regulated?"



Small actions you could try (Note: there are a million more that will also work)



Blue Zone tools: Movement, protein snack, cold water, connecting with someone

Yellow Zone tools: Deep breathing, fidget toy, short walk, listening to calming music

Red Zone tools: Safe space to decompress, noise-canceling headphones, weighted blanket, or calling someone you trust



The Big Insight



You don't have to stay in Green all the time. That's impossible and not the goal. The power is recognizing your zone early and having a few go-to strategies that actually work for YOUR unique brain.



Start with just noticing your zones this week. No judgment, no pressure to change anything. Just observe: "Oh, I'm in Yellow right now" or "I woke up in Blue today." Awareness is the first step to regulation.



The Zones of Regulation is a framework developed by Leah Kuypers, OTR/L. As a coach working with neurodivergent individuals, I've seen how this simple system can transform how people understand and manage their emotional experiences.



Want to learn more about my work?


Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/


YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

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Sometimes My Brain Feels Like a Snow Globe

By Genie Love • August 27, 2025
My daughter used to say, "I just want to go home" when she was completely overwhelmed and felt out of control (even though she was home and safe). It's like inside her head felt too hard to be in, and she wanted to escape somewhere calm. Too much noise. Too loud. Too busy. Chaotic. These are words my clients use to describe what's happening in their brain when it's all just too much. Too overwhelming. To me, when it all feels out of control and I finally notice it and stop, it feels like a snow globe settling. The swirling slows down, the chaos quiets, and I can think again. The key is finally noticing that this is going on inside your brain. And, it's really hard to do. When Your Brain Feels Like a Snow Globe You're using too many words when talking. Going in circles, over-explaining, can't get to your point. If you notice you're spiraling when you talk, that's good. That's the first step. Too many things going on. Everything feels urgent and overwhelming. You're stuck or frozen but also frantic. Just notice that it's happening. Too many ideas. You're bouncing from one to another and can't seem to stick to any and see it through. Good, just start by noticing it. Spiraling negative self-talk. "Everyone else has it figured out. This is all about to fall apart." Just try to notice it when it's happening. Here's What You Can Do Just notice that it's happening. That's it. Try one of these (whatever feels doable right now): Turn your phone off. Turn your monitor off. Do nothing for a couple of minutes. Go for a short walk, even if it's just to the end of your driveway or hallway. Stare out the window. Just look. Circular breathing (breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, like you're blowing out birthday candles). Rub your fingertips together and pay attention to all the sensations you feel. Breathe deeply into your belly. Take a sip of your drink and really notice the temperature, the taste, how it feels going down. Be Gentle With Yourself It's very hard to catch the chaotic brain when it's happening. Even if you only realize hours later..."Oh, that's what was happening this morning when I couldn't think straight"...that's still good. That's still building your awareness and noticing skills. You don't have to be perfect at this. Just start by noticing. The snow globe will settle when you give it time. Tell me, what does your busy brain feel like? P.S. A short Instagram video in the comments of Dr. Andrew Huberman demonstrating a breathing technique that's new to me. I'll be giving it a try.  Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

Energy Isn’t Always Consistent. And That’s Okay

By Genie Love • August 22, 2025
For some reason today, I’m thinking about Olympic runners. The sprinters, the marathoners, and the ones who specialize in that middle distance where you have to balance sprinting with maintaining a steady pace. Each event asks something different from the athletes. And the athletes are built differently. Their bodies are designed to do very specific things, at very specific intensities, for specific durations. The same is true in a lot of sports. I love the Tour de France, and even though everyone rides the same distance, each rider has a specialty. Climbers, sprinters, those who lead the pack...all with very different strengths and different builds. I think brains work this way too. Yet...We Expect Every Brain to Run the Same Race...The Same Way In work and life, we tend to expect everyone to maintain the same pace, hour after hour, day after day. Steady output. Consistent energy. Linear productivity. For neurodivergent people, this expectation can feel brutal. Some brains go all-in at 150% effort in hyperfocus mode for a distance, but need real recovery afterward. Some days they’re at 50% and beat themselves up because they can't maintain a steady speed like everyone else. A Tool for Checking In I once heard Brene Brown describe a system she uses with her husband to check in at the end of the day. They ask each other: How much emotional energy do you have left to give tonight? One might say, “I’ve got 40%.” The other might respond, “Okay, I can cover the other 60%.” Sometimes they both come in low, and they agree to lower the bar and make adjustments to the evening. What if we used this strategy more often, especially if you’re neurodivergent and experience emotional or sensory overwhelm? What If You Tried This? Start by checking in with yourself: How much energy do I realistically have? Can I communicate that to my partner, family, my team? Or, at the very least, communicate that to yourself so you are aware. If you’re at 20%, it’s okay to say so. If you’re at 80%, step up and give more. If you're at 150%, go all in. This isn’t about fairness, it’s about honesty. And it might help you respond with more compassion (for yourself and others) instead of snapping or shutting down. You’re not a machine. Your brain may not built for a steady pace all the time. Check in with your energy. Communicate if that's what's needed. Definitely give yourself permission to work differently. And adjust accordingly. Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/
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