Neurodiversity Unboxed: Insights and Strategies for Inclusive Workplaces

What would leadership look like (and sound like) so that people with ADHD and/or autism didn't have to spend extra energy "translating" how they think and speak? This was the topic of the panel I participated in yesterday at Coach Lee Hopkins Social Connections Summit. And, unless you really feel this deeply, you have no idea how exhausting this is. As neurotypical communicators, we're missing out on a lot because we're uncomfortable with different communication styles. When ADHD Brains Are "Rambling" Here's something I've learned about myself and my clients: When someone with ADHD seems to be rambling in a meeting, those busy, fast-moving brains are often connecting dots in ways most people can't see. They're not unfocused. They're actually incredibly focused on patterns and connections that aren't visible to the rest of us. But while you may be sitting there thinking they're all over the place, you're missing an opportunity to tap into that. Here's an idea for leaders: Pause and say something like: "I can see you're thinking through something. I'm not totally with you yet, and in the interest of this meeting, we need to move on, but I'm going to make a note to follow up with you and get more clarity on your thoughts." And then... do that. Follow up. Also, while their ADHD brains are busy connecting those thoughts, they might be missing details being discussed in real-time. You can support this by taking visible notes – on screen or in a shared document. Pause occasionally to emphasize important points, summarize at the end, and send those notes in a follow-up email. Many of us will have more thoughts or questions long after the meeting has ended. (Not just ADHDers.) Those notes become a source anyone can refer back to. Then we talked about feedback for autistic employees. This is where it gets a little more challenging for most people. When autistic employees get vague feedback, it creates confusion because they value clarity, specific steps, and actionable instructions. Those of us who are not autistic, have this cultural reaction to direct communication. It feels almost abrasive to us. Pause on that for a second. When someone communicates more directly than we're used to, we often feel a little shocked, challenged, or even defensive. We need to check in with ourselves and ask: Is this person really challenging me, or are they just communicating in a way that's more direct than I'm comfortable with? And then comes the hard part – practicing being more direct ourselves in how we communicate. We prefer to speak in softer, more indirect ways, kind of "reading between the lines." We say things like "I need you to step up in this area" or "people are feeling judged by you." But what does that actually mean? Try asking yourself: What am I actually seeing, and how can it be done differently? Then explain that very clearly. Now you have something concrete that can actually be helpful. Speaking this way feels confrontational to many of us. Practice. Start small and practice. Let's shift our thinking Maybe the question isn't how neurodivergent people can better fit into our communication norms... maybe it's how we can adapt our communication style in ways that actually work for them. What steps can you take? How might you practice being more direct in your feedback? What would it look like to follow up on those rambling moments instead of just letting them pass by? Huge gratitude to Coach Lee Hopkins for creating space where these important conversations can happen. Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

This one's for you if you’ve tried Getting Things Done and failed. You've attempted eating the frog, Pomodoro, implemented the 2-minute rule, and cycled through every productivity system promising to transform your chaos into order. And… still looking at a monster to-do list. And…you blame yourself for lacking discipline or focus. What if the systems were the problem, not you? Here's what I discovered about why most time-blocking fails I had a client who meticulously planned her day in 30-minute chunks: 9:00-9:30 emails, 9:30-10:00 project work, 10:00-10:30 calls. By 10:15, she was already behind schedule and gave up on the whole thing by Tuesday. With zero flexibility built in, and everything on her schedule looking like a priority, one minor delay could derail her entire day, leaving her frustrated and convinced she was "bad at time management." Sound familiar? We've been told that the "right" system will fix us. That if we just have enough discipline, enough focus, enough... whatever... we'll master our time. Most of my clients have either tried time-blocking and given up because it didn’t work for them or they completely ignore it because it’s just another strategy that won’t stick. Here's what I've learned works... Start with reflection, not planning. I spend 5-7 minutes daily looking at my calendar one week ahead. I don't jump into scheduling. I just absorb what's coming. I ask myself: "What do I need to accomplish to feel prepared for what's ahead?" Think in bigger blocks. I schedule 1-1.5 hour blocks if possible. Anything under 45 minutes goes on my "quick tasks" checklist. Your brain needs time to settle into complex work. Here's what most people miss: Limit yourself to 1-2 truly difficult tasks per day. That's it. Everything else (emails, routine calls, administrative work) gets batched into "quick tasks" blocks. For me, writing this newsletter is my hard thing today. But, there are always emails and social media to monitor, phone calls and appointments to make for personal life, following up, finishing client notes…these get batched into shorter time-blocks. The hard/easy distinction is completely personal to you. I schedule the basics too. Meals, dog walks, picking up my daughter, etc. If it matters to my day, it gets a block. Most importantly? I build in flexibility. Life happens. Meetings run long. Kids get sick. Stuff comes up. When my day goes sideways (not if, when), I just reset tomorrow. It’s never perfect. What I really want you to know Time-blocking isn't about creating the perfect schedule. It's about creating sustainable systems that work with YOUR brain. The clients who succeed with this approach stop trying to optimize every minute and start protecting their energy for what truly matters. They give themselves permission to be human while still getting important work done. So I'm curious... What would change for you if you scheduled just one or two hard things tomorrow and gave yourself grace for everything else? Let me know what you discover. PS. There is a lot on my to-do list that won’t get done today. That’s just how it goes. Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

My daughter used to say, "I just want to go home" when she was completely overwhelmed and felt out of control (even though she was home and safe). It's like inside her head felt too hard to be in, and she wanted to escape somewhere calm. Too much noise. Too loud. Too busy. Chaotic. These are words my clients use to describe what's happening in their brain when it's all just too much. Too overwhelming. To me, when it all feels out of control and I finally notice it and stop, it feels like a snow globe settling. The swirling slows down, the chaos quiets, and I can think again. The key is finally noticing that this is going on inside your brain. And, it's really hard to do. When Your Brain Feels Like a Snow Globe You're using too many words when talking. Going in circles, over-explaining, can't get to your point. If you notice you're spiraling when you talk, that's good. That's the first step. Too many things going on. Everything feels urgent and overwhelming. You're stuck or frozen but also frantic. Just notice that it's happening. Too many ideas. You're bouncing from one to another and can't seem to stick to any and see it through. Good, just start by noticing it. Spiraling negative self-talk. "Everyone else has it figured out. This is all about to fall apart." Just try to notice it when it's happening. Here's What You Can Do Just notice that it's happening. That's it. Try one of these (whatever feels doable right now): Turn your phone off. Turn your monitor off. Do nothing for a couple of minutes. Go for a short walk, even if it's just to the end of your driveway or hallway. Stare out the window. Just look. Circular breathing (breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth, like you're blowing out birthday candles). Rub your fingertips together and pay attention to all the sensations you feel. Breathe deeply into your belly. Take a sip of your drink and really notice the temperature, the taste, how it feels going down. Be Gentle With Yourself It's very hard to catch the chaotic brain when it's happening. Even if you only realize hours later..."Oh, that's what was happening this morning when I couldn't think straight"...that's still good. That's still building your awareness and noticing skills. You don't have to be perfect at this. Just start by noticing. The snow globe will settle when you give it time. Tell me, what does your busy brain feel like? P.S. A short Instagram video in the comments of Dr. Andrew Huberman demonstrating a breathing technique that's new to me. I'll be giving it a try.  Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

For some reason today, I’m thinking about Olympic runners. The sprinters, the marathoners, and the ones who specialize in that middle distance where you have to balance sprinting with maintaining a steady pace. Each event asks something different from the athletes. And the athletes are built differently. Their bodies are designed to do very specific things, at very specific intensities, for specific durations. The same is true in a lot of sports. I love the Tour de France, and even though everyone rides the same distance, each rider has a specialty. Climbers, sprinters, those who lead the pack...all with very different strengths and different builds. I think brains work this way too. Yet...We Expect Every Brain to Run the Same Race...The Same Way In work and life, we tend to expect everyone to maintain the same pace, hour after hour, day after day. Steady output. Consistent energy. Linear productivity. For neurodivergent people, this expectation can feel brutal. Some brains go all-in at 150% effort in hyperfocus mode for a distance, but need real recovery afterward. Some days they’re at 50% and beat themselves up because they can't maintain a steady speed like everyone else. A Tool for Checking In I once heard Brene Brown describe a system she uses with her husband to check in at the end of the day. They ask each other: How much emotional energy do you have left to give tonight? One might say, “I’ve got 40%.” The other might respond, “Okay, I can cover the other 60%.” Sometimes they both come in low, and they agree to lower the bar and make adjustments to the evening. What if we used this strategy more often, especially if you’re neurodivergent and experience emotional or sensory overwhelm? What If You Tried This? Start by checking in with yourself: How much energy do I realistically have? Can I communicate that to my partner, family, my team? Or, at the very least, communicate that to yourself so you are aware. If you’re at 20%, it’s okay to say so. If you’re at 80%, step up and give more. If you're at 150%, go all in. This isn’t about fairness, it’s about honesty. And it might help you respond with more compassion (for yourself and others) instead of snapping or shutting down. You’re not a machine. Your brain may not built for a steady pace all the time. Check in with your energy. Communicate if that's what's needed. Definitely give yourself permission to work differently. And adjust accordingly. Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

Learning to better manage emotions has changed the lives of some of my clients. And, if you're neurodivergent (especially with ADHD or autism) you may know that emotions can feel like they go from 0 to 100 in seconds. One moment you're fine, the next you're completely overwhelmed or shutdown. I'm going to share a simple framework that can help you catch those big feelings before they take over that I've been using for decades. Meet the Zones of Regulation Originally designed for kids (but surprise...it works amazingly well for adults too!), this system thinks of your emotional state like a traffic light system, but with four colors instead of three: 🔵 Blue Zone: The Slow Lane Tired, sad, bored, or sick Moving slowly, low energy Hard to focus or get motivated 🟢 Green Zone: The Sweet Spot Calm, focused, content, ready to learn This is where we do our best thinking and connecting The goal zone for important tasks and relationships 🟡 Yellow Zone: Caution Ahead Excited, worried, frustrated, or silly Energy is ramping up, but you still have some control Warning sign that you might need to use some coping strategies 🔴 Red Zone: Full Stop Angry, furious, terrified, or completely overwhelmed Fight, flight, or freeze mode activated Very hard to think clearly or make good decisions Why This Matters for ADHD and Autistic Brains Neurodivergent nervous systems often experience: Faster zone changes - Jumping from Green to Red without much Yellow warning time Longer recovery periods - It takes more time and energy to get back to Green Intense sensory triggers - Sounds, lights, textures, or social situations can push you into different zones quickly Masking exhaustion - Trying to appear "fine" all day can leave you depleted and more likely to hit Blue or Red zones Your Three-Step Zone Check System 1. Name It: "What zone am I in right now?" Just noticing and labeling your zone creates a pause between feeling and reacting. 2. Claim It: "This zone makes sense given what's happening." All zones are normal human experiences. You're not broken for having big feelings. 3. Aim for Green: "What's one small thing that might help me feel more regulated?" Small actions you could try (Note: there are a million more that will also work) Blue Zone tools: Movement, protein snack, cold water, connecting with someone Yellow Zone tools: Deep breathing, fidget toy, short walk, listening to calming music Red Zone tools: Safe space to decompress, noise-canceling headphones, weighted blanket, or calling someone you trust The Big Insight You don't have to stay in Green all the time. That's impossible and not the goal. The power is recognizing your zone early and having a few go-to strategies that actually work for YOUR unique brain. Start with just noticing your zones this week. No judgment, no pressure to change anything. Just observe: "Oh, I'm in Yellow right now" or "I woke up in Blue today." Awareness is the first step to regulation. The Zones of Regulation is a framework developed by Leah Kuypers, OTR/L. As a coach working with neurodivergent individuals, I've seen how this simple system can transform how people understand and manage their emotional experiences. Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

Calendar Management I’m working with a client right now who’s juggling a lot: -Primary caregiver of two kids -Starting a new leadership role -In grad school -Building a passion project that could become a business It’s a lot. And it requires her to find time to do all these things without dropping the ball. And, she also has ADHD. She’s had coaching before through her employer’s contracted provider. But it was traditional coaching. Lots of open-ended questions with the goal of “uncovering your own solutions.” And like many of my clients, that approach didn’t work for her. When you’ve been trying to “figure it out” for decades and you’re still struggling, insight alone isn’t enough. That’s not how I work. I’m a teacher. I teach strategies that I think will help. We’ll try them out, reflect on what worked (and what didn’t), revise the system, and try again. And we’ll keep going until we land on something that works for you. So what are my clients working on? -A retired person burning out from a cause they care deeply about -Someone newly promoted and overwhelmed by meetings and competing priorities -A client with decades of therapy who still doesn’t feel emotionally regulated -“Successful” people who struggle with basic daily tasks -Professionals stuck at a certain level because of social or communication challenges -Employees on PIPs because traditional “in-house” coaching hasn’t helped Back to my client… The strategy we landed on? Make it visual. And consciously spend time looking at it. She hung three large calendars on her wall: one for work, one for school, one for personal life. And 2–3 times a week, she schedules a few minutes to do nothing except stare at those calendars. Just look. See what pops up. Her results? She says it almost feels indulgent, like a mini break (sounds lovely). And, she’s more aware of what’s coming up, she spots holes in her schedule to plan ahead, and she’s caught things she otherwise would have missed. (Like an appointment for her son she’s certain she would have forgotten.) If you’ve tried all the productivity hacks and nothing sticks, maybe it’s time to try something different. Coaching doesn’t have to be vague or abstract.  Let’s find what works for your brain. Schedule a free consult to see if coaching with me is the right fit. Book time with Genie Love: Personal Discovery Call Or just reply and tell me what you’re juggling right now. I’d love to hear.

The lists you make. Sticky notes around your computer. Notebooks and apps intended to keep you organized. I give you permission to let go of all feelings of failure with the failed organizational systems. If you have an ADHD brain, you’re likely collecting thoughts and notes and to-dos everywhere. You’ve tried all kinds of systems and tools and hacks, and they haven’t worked. I give you permission to be ok with and embrace your scattered systems. Organization may never be your thing, no matter how hard you try to follow the “rules.” You have all the tabs open because of all the small things you need to do: read an article save a doc (but you’re not sure where) record notes from a meeting follow up with someone... Here’s what I suggest: Make your piles. Sticky notes, random papers, tabs, notes from your phone, just gather them. Collect everything into one notebook. Keep the tabs open. Block an hour (or more) twice a week to deal with all of it. During that time, sort through: Emails sitting in various inboxes Your sticky note piles Your open tabs Your notebook Your ever-expanding to-do list Move anything urgent into your calendar. Start your next to-do list with things that can wait. Revisit old notes and ask: What still needs action? What’s already handled? What just resolved itself without me? This works because ADHD brains love to move fast. One thing ends, and we’re off to the next. Pausing to close tabs and tidy up notes is not motivating. So set aside the time. Turn on your favorite focus music. And deal with the piles. And, if this is one of your colleagues...it may look crazy, but it doesn't mean it doesn't work. Let me know how it goes.  P.S. Yup, I was on a Zoom without a pen and took notes with a highlighter. Yes, I'm 48 years old and this happened. The struggle is real. The note is now going in the pile to be dealt with later this week. Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

We all know what it feels like to be overwhelmed and stressed. We are less patient, less creative, and less capable of solving problems. Now imagine feeling that kind of stress every single day, because of the clothes you’re expected to wear, the lighting in your environment, the sounds of the office, or the smells in the break room. For some people, it's not just discomfort, it’s sensory overload. And it’s not “being dramatic.” It’s real. It’s neurological. It often goes unnoticed. And it's very much misunderstood. Your most reactive employee might also be your most valuable. They may be highly sensitive and neither of you knows it. I’m sharing this article from ADDitude Magazine (my favorite resource) because it breaks down what hypersensitivity looks like and where it comes from. Read the article here If this resonates, whether it’s about you or someone on your team, reach out. I can help you identify strategies that support the way their brain and body actually work. Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

"To be more than you are means you have to let go of who you were." I’ve heard some version of this quote many times. It sounds important, right? I want to become more than I am... but what the hell does it even mean? I saved it in my Obsidian notebook of inspirational quotes, journaled about it, let it roll around in my brain for months...and still couldn’t quite connect with it. Until recently. I was explaining my NeuroAutonomy Method of coaching to someone, and when I described the “Inner Compass” part of the method, she said: “It’s like re-understanding yourself.” And, it was a total lightbulb moment. YES. That’s it. People with ADHD and/or autism need to re-understand themselves . They’ve spent their entire lives trying to conform to neurotypical standards set by parents, teachers, friends, supervisors, and society. Then, they find out they’re neurodivergent. And suddenly, can start to revisit all those old patterns of thinking and behaving. That’s when they come to coaching. (Really, we all should go through this process at some point.) Through the Inner Compass work, we discover the “characters” that show up in times of stress. They came into our lives when we were young to protect us from bad things: social mistakes, failure, embarrassment, losing control, being “too much,” falling behind...(it's kind of an endless list). And while they helped us back then, they now run the show too ofen in ways that no longer serve us. Here are a few I've found: A 1950s housewife A concrete wall The White Rabbit from the old Alice in Wonderland cartoon And, what’s great about re-understanding yourself is that you can see these parts of you. You can get to know them. Understand they're there. And slowly, it quiets them and you can begin to release their control over you. It doesn't mean losing yourself. It means getting more time in the calm, capable version of you. You become more than you are by letting go of who you were. I created a tool to help you start this exploration. The "Inner Compass Starter Kit". You can find it here: https://stan.store/GenieLove Give it a try and let me know what characters you find. P.S. A few characters my clients have found: A hyper-achieving dog A stinky avoider trash pile A cowboy with a lasso One of those vacuums with giant eyes (yes, it's real, we looked it up) Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/