What We're Getting Wrong in Communication

Genie Love • September 26, 2025

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What would leadership look like (and sound like) so that people with ADHD and/or autism didn't have to spend extra energy "translating" how they think and speak?


This was the topic of the panel I participated in yesterday at Coach Lee Hopkins Social Connections Summit. 


And, unless you really feel this deeply, you have no idea how exhausting this is. As neurotypical communicators, we're missing out on a lot because we're uncomfortable with different communication styles. 


When ADHD Brains Are "Rambling"


Here's something I've learned about myself and my clients: When someone with ADHD seems to be rambling in a meeting, those busy, fast-moving brains are often connecting dots in ways most people can't see. They're not unfocused. They're actually incredibly focused on patterns and connections that aren't visible to the rest of us.


But while you may be sitting there thinking they're all over the place, you're missing an opportunity to tap into that.


Here's an idea for leaders: Pause and say something like: "I can see you're thinking through something. I'm not totally with you yet, and in the interest of this meeting, we need to move on, but I'm going to make a note to follow up with you and get more clarity on your thoughts."


And then... do that. Follow up.


Also, while their ADHD brains are busy connecting those thoughts, they might be missing details being discussed in real-time. You can support this by taking visible notes – on screen or in a shared document. Pause occasionally to emphasize important points, summarize at the end, and send those notes in a follow-up email.


Many of us will have more thoughts or questions long after the meeting has ended. (Not just ADHDers.) Those notes become a source anyone can refer back to.


Then we talked about feedback for autistic employees. 


This is where it gets a little more challenging for most people.


When autistic employees get vague feedback, it creates confusion because they value clarity, specific steps, and actionable instructions. 


Those of us who are not autistic, have this cultural reaction to direct communication. It feels almost abrasive to us.


Pause on that for a second.


When someone communicates more directly than we're used to, we often feel a little shocked, challenged, or even defensive. We need to check in with ourselves and ask: Is this person really challenging me, or are they just communicating in a way that's more direct than I'm comfortable with?


And then comes the hard part – practicing being more direct ourselves in how we communicate. We prefer to speak in softer, more indirect ways, kind of "reading between the lines." We say things like "I need you to step up in this area" or "people are feeling judged by you."


But what does that actually mean?


Try asking yourself: What am I actually seeing, and how can it be done differently? Then explain that very clearly. Now you have something concrete that can actually be helpful.


Speaking this way feels confrontational to many of us. Practice. Start small and practice.


Let's shift our thinking


Maybe the question isn't how neurodivergent people can better fit into our communication norms... maybe it's how we can adapt our communication style in ways that actually work for them.


What steps can you take?


How might you practice being more direct in your feedback? What would it look like to follow up on those rambling moments instead of just letting them pass by?


Huge gratitude to Coach Lee Hopkins for creating space where these important conversations can happen.




Want to learn more about my work?


Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/


YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

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Neurodiversity Unboxed: Insights and Strategies for Inclusive Workplaces

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Time Blocking Isn't Enough (Try Energy Blocking Too)

By Genie Love • November 5, 2025
This one's for you if you've time-blocked your day perfectly... and still feel like you're fighting against your brain. You've got the time chunks. You know when you're supposed to work on things. You've followed all the advice about blocking out 90-minute segments for hard tasks. But your brain doesn't cooperate. Sometimes you have the energy for deep work. Sometimes you don't. And you end up staring at your calendar, frustrated that you can't just power through like you're "supposed to." Here's what I've learned about working WITH your brain's natural rhythms If you have ADHD or autism, your brain likely doesn't work consistently throughout the day. Think of a car on cruise control - your brain probably doesn't do that. Your brain revs up higher in some parts of the day. It revs down much lower in other parts. Your whole body follows these energy fluctuations. It's very hard to be consistent in your energy all day long. And that's not a failure. That's just how some brains work. So here's what my clients like: Energy Blocking Once you've time-blocked your day - you have a chunk of time here, a chunk of time there, maybe some 90-minute blocks and some smaller blocks scattered throughout - you add another layer. You match your tasks to your actual energy levels. Here's how it works: Step 1: Create two running lists Make a list of tasks that are hard for you to do. Make a list of tasks that are easier for you to do. And here's the critical part: "Easy" and "hard" are completely personal to YOUR brain. For some people, making phone calls is easy. They love chatting with people. For others, that's incredibly hard. For some people, sending emails and organizing them is easy. For others, that's incredibly hard. For some people, it's incredibly easy to nerd out on data, dive in deep, and figure out where there are discrepancies and mistakes. For others, that's really hard. This is designed for you to decide what is easy and what is hard for YOUR specific brain. Step 2: Check in with your body When you come to a time block, check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Are you calm and ready to go? In a good, clear mental state? Or is your energy lower? Are you just not really with it today for whatever reason? Step 3: Choose from the appropriate list If you're feeling good and clear-headed, choose something from your hard tasks list. Dive into the challenging work that requires your best energy. If your energy is lower or you're just not feeling it, choose from your easier tasks list. Still productive. Still getting things done. Just matched to your actual capacity in that moment. What this looks like in real life For me, the end of the day means I'm losing steam. My daughter knows not to ask me for help with homework after 8:00. I’m spent. But I have clients with ADHD who actually rev up in the evening. They're ready to tackle their hardest work after dinner. Some people are sharp first thing in the morning. Others need a couple hours to fully wake up. Some people hit a wall after lunch. Others get a second wind in the afternoon. Your pattern is yours. Energy blocking lets you work with it instead of against it. Key Takeaway: Time blocking creates the structure. Energy blocking makes that structure actually work for your brain. You're not failing when you can't consistently perform at the same level all day. You're human. Your brain has natural rhythms and fluctuations. The key is having options. When you reach a time block and check in with yourself, you have a menu to choose from based on your actual state, not some ideal version of consistent productivity. Hard tasks when you have the energy. Easier tasks when you don't. Both are productive. Both move your work forward. One just acknowledges reality. Give it a try  What time of day is your brain at its best? And when does your energy tend to dip? What would change if you matched your hardest tasks to your highest energy times? Try energy blocking this week and let me know what you discover. Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/
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Please Don't Fill Every Gap in Your Schedule

By Genie Love • October 24, 2025
Discover why your brain needs real rest—not “productive breaks.” Learn how doing nothing for a few minutes can boost creativity, focus, and calm.
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