Re-understand Yourself
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"To be more than you are means you have to let go of who you were."
I’ve heard some version of this quote many times. It sounds important, right? I want to become more than I am... but what the hell does it even mean?
I saved it in my Obsidian notebook of inspirational quotes, journaled about it, let it roll around in my brain for months...and still couldn’t quite connect with it.
Until recently.
I was explaining my NeuroAutonomy Method of coaching to someone, and when I described the “Inner Compass” part of the method, she said:
“It’s like re-understanding yourself.”
And, it was a total lightbulb moment.
YES. That’s it.
People with ADHD and/or autism need to re-understand themselves.
They’ve spent their entire lives trying to conform to neurotypical standards set by parents, teachers, friends, supervisors, and society. Then, they find out they’re neurodivergent. And suddenly, can start to revisit all those old patterns of thinking and behaving. That’s when they come to coaching.
(Really, we all should go through this process at some point.)
Through the Inner Compass work, we discover the “characters” that show up in times of stress. They came into our lives when we were young to protect us from bad things: social mistakes, failure, embarrassment, losing control, being “too much,” falling behind...(it's kind of an endless list). And while they helped us back then, they now run the show too ofen in ways that no longer serve us.
Here are a few I've found:
- A 1950s housewife
- A concrete wall
- The White Rabbit from the old Alice in Wonderland cartoon
And, what’s great about re-understanding yourself is that you can see these parts of you. You can get to know them. Understand they're there. And slowly, it quiets them and you can begin to release their control over you.
It doesn't mean losing yourself. It means getting more time in the calm, capable version of you.
You become more than you are by letting go of who you were.
I created a tool to help you start this exploration. The "Inner Compass Starter Kit". You can find it here: https://stan.store/GenieLove
Give it a try and let me know what characters you find.
P.S. A few characters my clients have found:
- A hyper-achieving dog
- A stinky avoider trash pile
- A cowboy with a lasso
- One of those vacuums with giant eyes (yes, it's real, we looked it up)
Want to learn more about my work?
Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/
YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg
Ready to LEARN MORE?
Set your yourself up for success.
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