Re-understand Yourself

Genie Love • June 25, 2025

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"To be more than you are means you have to let go of who you were."


I’ve heard some version of this quote many times. It sounds important, right? I want to become more than I am... but what the hell does it even mean?


I saved it in my Obsidian notebook of inspirational quotes, journaled about it, let it roll around in my brain for months...and still couldn’t quite connect with it.


Until recently.


I was explaining my NeuroAutonomy Method of coaching to someone, and when I described the “Inner Compass” part of the method, she said:


“It’s like re-understanding yourself.”


And, it was a total lightbulb moment.


YES. That’s it.


People with ADHD and/or autism need to re-understand themselves.


They’ve spent their entire lives trying to conform to neurotypical standards set by parents, teachers, friends, supervisors, and society. Then, they find out they’re neurodivergent. And suddenly, can start to revisit all those old patterns of thinking and behaving. That’s when they come to coaching.


(Really, we all should go through this process at some point.)


Through the Inner Compass work, we discover the “characters” that show up in times of stress. They came into our lives when we were young to protect us from bad things: social mistakes, failure, embarrassment, losing control, being “too much,” falling behind...(it's kind of an endless list). And while they helped us back then, they now run the show too ofen in ways that no longer serve us.


Here are a few I've found:


  • A 1950s housewife
  • A concrete wall
  • The White Rabbit from the old Alice in Wonderland cartoon


And, what’s great about re-understanding yourself is that you can see these parts of you. You can get to know them. Understand they're there. And slowly, it quiets them and you can begin to release their control over you.


It doesn't mean losing yourself. It means getting more time in the calm, capable version of you.


You become more than you are by letting go of who you were.


I created a tool to help you start this exploration. The "Inner Compass Starter Kit". You can find it here: https://stan.store/GenieLove


Give it a try and let me know what characters you find.


P.S. A few characters my clients have found:


  • A hyper-achieving dog
  • A stinky avoider trash pile
  • A cowboy with a lasso
  • One of those vacuums with giant eyes (yes, it's real, we looked it up)


 Want to learn more about my work?


Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/


YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg



Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/

Ready to LEARN MORE?


Set your yourself up for success.

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By Genie Love November 5, 2025
This one's for you if you've time-blocked your day perfectly... and still feel like you're fighting against your brain. You've got the time chunks. You know when you're supposed to work on things. You've followed all the advice about blocking out 90-minute segments for hard tasks. But your brain doesn't cooperate. Sometimes you have the energy for deep work. Sometimes you don't. And you end up staring at your calendar, frustrated that you can't just power through like you're "supposed to." Here's what I've learned about working WITH your brain's natural rhythms If you have ADHD or autism, your brain likely doesn't work consistently throughout the day. Think of a car on cruise control - your brain probably doesn't do that. Your brain revs up higher in some parts of the day. It revs down much lower in other parts. Your whole body follows these energy fluctuations. It's very hard to be consistent in your energy all day long. And that's not a failure. That's just how some brains work. So here's what my clients like: Energy Blocking Once you've time-blocked your day - you have a chunk of time here, a chunk of time there, maybe some 90-minute blocks and some smaller blocks scattered throughout - you add another layer. You match your tasks to your actual energy levels. Here's how it works: Step 1: Create two running lists Make a list of tasks that are hard for you to do. Make a list of tasks that are easier for you to do. And here's the critical part: "Easy" and "hard" are completely personal to YOUR brain. For some people, making phone calls is easy. They love chatting with people. For others, that's incredibly hard. For some people, sending emails and organizing them is easy. For others, that's incredibly hard. For some people, it's incredibly easy to nerd out on data, dive in deep, and figure out where there are discrepancies and mistakes. For others, that's really hard. This is designed for you to decide what is easy and what is hard for YOUR specific brain. Step 2: Check in with your body When you come to a time block, check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Are you calm and ready to go? In a good, clear mental state? Or is your energy lower? Are you just not really with it today for whatever reason? Step 3: Choose from the appropriate list If you're feeling good and clear-headed, choose something from your hard tasks list. Dive into the challenging work that requires your best energy. If your energy is lower or you're just not feeling it, choose from your easier tasks list. Still productive. Still getting things done. Just matched to your actual capacity in that moment. What this looks like in real life For me, the end of the day means I'm losing steam. My daughter knows not to ask me for help with homework after 8:00. I’m spent. But I have clients with ADHD who actually rev up in the evening. They're ready to tackle their hardest work after dinner. Some people are sharp first thing in the morning. Others need a couple hours to fully wake up. Some people hit a wall after lunch. Others get a second wind in the afternoon. Your pattern is yours. Energy blocking lets you work with it instead of against it. Key Takeaway: Time blocking creates the structure. Energy blocking makes that structure actually work for your brain. You're not failing when you can't consistently perform at the same level all day. You're human. Your brain has natural rhythms and fluctuations. The key is having options. When you reach a time block and check in with yourself, you have a menu to choose from based on your actual state, not some ideal version of consistent productivity. Hard tasks when you have the energy. Easier tasks when you don't. Both are productive. Both move your work forward. One just acknowledges reality. Give it a try  What time of day is your brain at its best? And when does your energy tend to dip? What would change if you matched your hardest tasks to your highest energy times? Try energy blocking this week and let me know what you discover. Want to learn more about my work? Website: https://neuroautonomy.com/ YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCt_ciMlkbqElTXqRZLLWWGg Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/genielove_coaching/
Woman sipping from a mug, working on a laptop at a counter with sunlight.
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